Girls Don’t Be Shy, Aim High

Jessica Mount on 13 November 2021

Have you ever been told you that you are not good at something because of your sex? Or that it is ‘unusual’ that someone of your sex is doing your degree or has your hobbies? Most likely, you are a woman. 

Things like this can make us question ourselves and doubt our abilities, causing us to think twice about putting ourselves forward or aiming for the top. It’s easy to feel like you’re just pretending to know what you’re doing, waiting all the time for someone to come along and expose you; that you don’t actually deserve your accomplishments. You shouldn’t feel alone if you have these thoughts, as it is so common it has a name: imposter syndrome. It was first identified in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Susanne Imes, in their paper identifying that women are more predominantly hit with this inability to internalise and own their successes. When you experience systematic oppression or grow up being directly or indirectly told that you are less than or undeserving of your achievements then imposter syndrome occurs. 

When you were in school, were you ever too shy to put your hand up in class or answer a question out of fear of being called out by one of the ‘class clown’ boys? We teach girls from a young age that it is cute to seem incompetent and have to ask for men’s help, whereas boys are taught that it is cool to throw their weight around and act like they know what they are doing. It’s simple, girls, we need to fake a little confidence too.

I don’t mean bullshit, just be confident. Don’t make things up or fake qualifications, just be a bit more assertive and positive about things. When it comes to careers, studies have shown that how confident we feel about our own abilities can have a major impact from entry level like the chances of actually applying for a job to how likely we are to ask for promotions. One study in particular by Hewlett Packard found that women only apply to jobs that they meet 100% of the requirements for, whereas men apply for those they only meet 60% of the requirements. In fact, one university advertised a job that was for females only and THIRTY men applied. 

You will always come across people that may criticise you and try to put you down, so you need to believe in your own talents and be kind to yourself. One main reason that girls don’t feel ‘qualified’ enough to take certain career routes is because they don’t hear about women doing those jobs. 

“We are more likely to experience imposter syndrome if we don’t see many examples of people who look like us or share our background who are clearly succeeding in our field” – Emily Hu.

This is why it is important to remember that not succeeding, for example at an interview, doesn’t mean you are a failure, you are just one step closer to where you are going. You just have to remember that there is no prize giving at the end, so you can ignore what everyone else is doing, nobody claims first prize!

Lessons to Learn on your Journey Towards Allyship

Lauren Woodley on 22 October 2021

Allyship does not happen overnight. 

In fact, allyship is an ongoing process – a journey that I am still navigating. Yes, the journey can sometimes be uncomfortable but an important fundamental of allyship to remember is that although you may be feeling this way, as an ally, this conversation is not about you. 

Allyship can take on many forms. Everyone has their own meaning for the term ‘ally’. For example, your friends may be known as your ‘allies’. You choose to support your friends, you check in on your friends, and if someone has treated your friends incorrectly, you would hopefully step in and speak up. The same can be done as an ally against racism, or homophobia. Here, I shall specifically focus on allyship for the Black Lives Matter movement, but allyship towards all is just as important. 

The First Step

I accept that I have a white privilege. Accepting privilege can feel unpleasant, but all white people must acknowledge that this privilege does exist and cannot be ignored. Using this knowledge, an ally must take their privilege and use it to amplify the voices that are less heard before their own. 

Another important point of being an ally is recognising that you may not know how it feels to be oppressed but it is crucial to understand that there are many people out there who are marginalised every single day. The start of becoming an ally is making an effort to better understand the struggle and to educate yourself on the oppression faced.

Education

This will be an ongoing process of learning and unlearning. You need to unlearn the so-called ‘truths’ that previous generations believed in and actively go against what may, to you, be considered as the ‘norm’. During this, you must also accept that you will make mistakes and learn to take on criticism. This critique will help your learning process and will be a valuable lesson for the future. 

It is important that you self-educate. Do your own research and do not take credit for work that has been made before you, or made by those who are marginalised. If using work and guides made by the Black community, then remember you owe them for their invested time. It should not be their responsibility for your education. Make sure to contribute whenever a Paypal or funding page is made available. 

Reading 

A small personal way that I choose to show allyship is by reading authors who are primarily Black and female. Whilst this is only a small change in lifestyle, it can help you to start widening your horizons and surrounding yourself with culture outside of your immediate circle. Become aware of experiences that you have not lived. Further, supporting Black creators can help to amplify their voices. The same can be said with film directors, or music artists too.

Speaking out

Being an ally is mostly about listening. But, it is also important to speak out when the time is right. Speak out at home or with your friends if something said doesn’t sit quite right with you. If you witness discrimination, speak up! You could be in a position to protect someone who does not have that privilege. 

Showing support on social media can be an influential way of being an ally too. It is so easy to sign petitions, write to local charity groups and MPs for change, and share posts that are in support of BLM and other Black creators. However, it is important to remember that being an ally cannot just be for show. 

The viral trend ‘Blackout Tuesday’ that took place on Instagram to protest racism and police brutality shortly after the death of George Floyd gave an example of what some called performative allyship, with thousands of users posting a black square on their Instagram feed. Whilst the intention was seemingly pure, the action was seen as ‘empty’ and instead of promoting Black voices, feeds were instead full of empty space. Rather than staying silent in this case, to be a good ally, you need to be actively engaged.

The journey does not end here

This is just the tip of the iceberg of some of the lessons that I have gathered on my journey of trying to become a better ally. Please make sure to use other resources and never stop listening to podcasts, reading, and researching to continue to educate yourself!