The Girls Got Guts: Is Embracing Being Your Own Main Character The Key To Success?
One of my earliest ambitions for my career was to be the Editor-in-Chief of British Vogue.
Some may call that a foolish dream. But, I have come to learn that adopting a highly ambitious mindset is nothing but powerful.
The leading ladies on the silver screen that I gravitated towards in my teens — and remain my comfort characters — are those who share similar aspirations. Two that automatically come to mind are Andie Anderson, ‘How To’ column girl from How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days and Carrie Bradshaw, another New York column girl who infamously stated that she made $4 per word at Vogue in the 90s. Though my admiration of Carrie is largely limited to her wardrobe and not her problematic personal choices, her belief in her career and the power of her word resonates with me.
As I write this, I cannot help but feel the weight of a diamond-encrusted ‘Column Girl’ gauntlet in my hand. Do I feel an element of self-inflicted pressure? Absolutely! But am I ready to join the roster of fabulous ‘column girls’ like Dolly Alderton, Bradshaw, Anderson et. al? Definitely! This is a dream come true for me.
I suppose I just have one question to ask you, fine readers of The Gryphon… this is ‘The Girls Got Guts’, so are you ready to spill?
I feel like the main character in a movie right now. Sat on my sofa, wine glass to my left, writing this column for a newspaper attached to the brand that I created in February – ‘The Girls Got Guts’.
‘The Girls Got Guts’ was born with the intention to inspire people’s hearts by sharing what it means to navigate life feeling fulfilled both personally and professionally. Drawing upon my own past experiences, I want to break down the narrative that success is linear. It isn’t.
Through talking to like minded guests, including musicians, journalists, actors etc., I found that through their passion and determination, my heart was being inspired. Each conversation not only spurred me on to continue building ‘The Girls Got Guts’, but they illustrated to me that there is only one thing that can stop you from achieving your dreams; yourself!
Our power lies in our mindset. Our determination, passion, courage and GUTS.
On both the Radio and podcasts aired on Spotify, I spill my guts, candidly revealing some of the most painful and challenging times of my life. My stories are laced with light-hearted humour and how, over time, I’ve learnt to gild these dark moments with glistening gold. Now, I’m doing it in print, which feels even more intense. However, the benefits of this outweigh any fleeting fear.
Benefit 1: You are here. Maybe you’ll read this once, maybe twice or maybe this will resonate with you, and you’ll keep it on your bedside table forever. Either way, if, through my candour and vulnerability, you feel validated, strong, and seen, then to me, that is reason enough.
Benefit 2: I feel gutsy. I’m acknowledging my right to control my story and my life. In many ways, that makes me the main character.
I just need Nancy Myers’ directorial touch and Hans Zimmer’s soundtrack, and it would feel like I’m onto an Oscar-winning screenplay. But alas, this isn’t Hollywood in the early 2000s. This is Leeds in 2024. No one is making a romantic montage to the lyrics of ‘Kiss Me’ by Sixpence None The Richer.
However, that doesn’t stop me from conducting my life like I am on a movie set.
So often, we seek the validation of others.
You’ve got the classic ‘people pleasers’, the ‘no-isn’t-in-my-vocabulary’ types, the ‘if you want to’ folks.
Don’t get me wrong, I am guilty of it myself. There is a time and a place for flexibility, especially when it comes to loved ones.
But ultimately, one can be susceptible to forgetting that you are the main character of your own life. You are a product of your choices. You are the only person who knows what’s going on in the blooper reels.
The camera angle is yours. No one else is directing or starring as the feature role in your movie.
Take me for example. I am your side character. Whether you choose to have me as a recurring feature or not (I’d be honoured to reappear by the way!), my overall value in your story is insignificant in comparison to yours.
Once we begin to understand that no one else can control our narratives, this knowledge unlocks a whole treasure trove of possibilities right at our fingertips.
You realise that you can in fact start that project purely because you want to.
You can apply to a job that your degree may not directly align with, but you have experience and drive. (Rejection is just redirection).
No one is stopping you. You are stopping you.
Throughout my teenage years, I was so aware of external eyes on me, that sometimes I took a backseat in my own story.
Like many people, I did not want to be mocked for pursuing something that most traditionally deemed unrealistic. I was scared to admit what I truly hoped for my life because of the overbearing voices of people who aren’t even guest appearances on this set anymore.
To me, nothing has ever been unrealistic. I’m the girl who was ready to be the Editor-in-Chief of British Vogue at 12. I just needed to recognise the importance of my character.
On the occasions I have decided to strive for my ambitions, those moments have prompted a butterfly effect of so many incredible opportunities because I had made those decisions for myself.
For example, I often ask myself, ‘What if I didn’t join LSR?’.
Well, I can tell you I would not be writing this. I would have never been on the guest list for one of my dad’s favourite band gigs. I would have never appeared on BBC Radio 1 over the summer.
I would not feel this wholesome sense of community, with 234 people (and counting!) in my corner.
‘The Girls Got Guts’ would cease to exist if I were a passive bystander in my own life, watching from the costume department of film production rather than being centre stage.
I took a risk, giving my all to the show. Every single day since I am reminded of the inherent power we hold inside of us.
As opportunities manifest themselves through hard work, I can’t help but feel like I’m now, finally, living like the main character.
Transforming a dream into a career is something 16-year-old Amba would fantasise about. 6 years later, this is my reality because I am not afraid to admit that I am the main character of my life.
Embrace it. Romanticise your life sometimes because it’s fun — it’s not embarrassing. Truly, take it from me, nothing can stop you once you understand your worth — negotiate for the big bucks. $4 per word!
Besides, as your name is first in the opening credits, you might as well be earning what you deserve…
Since I’ve embraced the role of the main character, I’m hoping the next scene will introduce me to my Benjamin Barry. I’ll keep you updated.
But, until then, I implore you to play ‘Kiss Me’ as you walk through campus and feel your power surge right through you.
Starter Tips To Unlock Main Character Energy:
Tip No.1 – Find a theme tune. Any song that unlocks your confidence, makes you feel electric.
Tip No.2 – When walking around, play the soundtrack from one of your favourite movies. Nothing gets me in my main character state of mind like The Holiday Soundtrack by Hans Zimmer. Truly, it is liquid happiness.
Tip No.3 – Every script has a curve ball. Whether the guy only spoke to her initially for a bet or there’s a shark that needs to be removed from the coastline — there would be no character arc without a bit of drama.
Tip No.4 – Romanticise, romanticise. See the bright side of things. Trust me, it can work. Actively look for silver linings in life, things will seem less daunting.
From your new favourite, fabulous column girl,
Amba Tilney.
