A Fresher’s survival guide: pocket wisdom for starting university
Creating a home away from home
The big move up to university is undoubtedly one of the most thrilling yet daunting experiences of students’ lives. Amidst the euphoria of freedom and adulthood, slowly the lethargy and low social battery creeps through. Plagued with lists of ‘fresher must-haves’, it can be incredibly difficult to know what is really necessary to bring with you to your accommodation (especially if you’re on a set budget). When the feelings of overtiredness began to affect me, the comfort of my room was my biggest saviour. The space in which we sleep and live in has an undeniable effect on our mental health and general peace of mind. Curating your halls bedroom doesn’t need to consist of buying endless aesthetic trinkets, but rather creating a space that will allow you to recuperate. For example, the piercingly white beam of the big light mixed with the questionable paint choice in my hall’s bedroom was headache-inducing. I decorated the walls with photos from home, bunting, my ever-resilient houseplant and a lamp to breathe life and calmness into the space. Incessant socialising and nights out are obviously going to be your priority, but ensure that your bedroom is fit to comfort you when you need it.
Navigating relationships with flatmates
The experience of living in halls is like nothing you’ll experience again. Being put in a flat with a handful of strangers and expected to live cohesively comes as a bit of a shock. Growing up in your hometown, with your own set of life experiences, you naturally create expectations that you have of other people. With 5+ people entering the same living space with their unique expectations also at the ready, tensions are inevitably going to arise.
Setting boundaries in a friendly way is always a start, e.g. ‘Please don’t wake me up at 5am when you get back from the club’ or ‘we all need to contribute to cleaning the kitchen’. However, your flatmates may not always respect your requests, which can result in navigating tricky conflicts. I definitely experienced this in my first year but now two years on, I still maintain lovely friendships with most of my first-year flatmates. Living in halls teaches you about what you require from your home and the people within it. You have a choice in terms of how you approach things, but I would encourage you to put your foot down on issues that matter to you, otherwise an unbalanced dynamic will swiftly grow.
Living in halls is also a lot of people’s first-time experiencing being around a lot of male or female energy depending on your draw of flatmates. Again, this is another opportunity to get to know yourself deeper. Whilst I was apprehensive about the hygiene of the boys I was set to live with, they turned out to not only be fairly clean but kind and friendly flatmates and friends. Navigating your own preconceptions and the experience of living with strangers isn’t always easy, but it’s an experience I’ll always be grateful that I had.
Friendship
Friendship at university has been the most life-affirming and transformative experience for me. However, in the weeks leading up to starting at university, I was beside myself with anxiety about making friends. My girl group at home is tight-knit and a huge source of comfort for me. I was really worried about how I was going to cope without established, genuine friendships in the first week as my friends are a huge source of strength for me. The panic of how early you have to start looking for second year houses with a group of friends you hardly know puts a real pressure on your choices as well.
With this type of worry I discover every single time that I will always find a way. People came and people went during my first semester, but very naturally the good sifted themselves from the bad and as a result I have the most technicolour, wholesome friends. Reading this as a Fresher you may roll your eyes, uncertain that your experience will entail the same prospects. As boring as the advice of ‘just be yourself’ is, this is all it boils down to in terms of connecting with people. Bravery in being prepared for people to dislike you for who you are grants you the privilege of attracting genuine, meaningful friendships with your kind of people. The joy of uni is that friendship making doesn’t stop in your first semester. In your second and third year, the sheer number of new people you encounter – whether through your course, societies, or friends of friends – opens doors to so many meaningful connections. All in all, Freshers week is something to definitely submerge yourself in, all guns a-blazing. But taking care of yourself and the relationships you build is also important too. Have faith and confidence in who you are and the friendship that you are capable of creating. Positive intention alongside talking to a lot of strangers and trying new things will send you straight in the right direction.
