The Gender Health Gap: Erin’s Story

I was diagnosed with depression, bipolar, a hormone imbalance, and labelled a hypochondriac before ADHD.

Erin

‘For as long as I can remember, my brain has felt different,’ Erin says, whilst we both sip at peppermint teas in a local bar, surrounded by succulents. After 23 years of the UK’s healthcare system consistently failing her, Erin finally got the diagnosis that changed her life. 

This is her story. 

In the early years of attending a top school in Bristol, Erin flourished in subjects in which she was naturally gifted. But once GCSE pressure started to build, her grades started slipping. She excelled in subjects like art and English, but in those where she had to really focus, she barely even passed. ‘None of my teachers helped me’ Erin said. ‘As soon as I wasn’t getting straight As, they didn’t care. I was constantly told I was disruptive, I distracted other people and that they would probably fail because of me.’

Things became gradually worse during A levels. ‘When I had to work even harder, I started failing badly.’ Erin watched her friends revise hard for exams and write essays, things she simply could not bring herself to concentrate on. ‘I just could not get the work done. I felt like a failure’.

During this time, Erin’s mental health was deteriorating. Seven years later, after what felt like an endless battle with the healthcare system, Erin was finally diagnosed with severe ADHD. The process of reaching this diagnosis was lengthy, and fraught with challenges. 

Upon asking doctors for help, Erin was told she had depression and referred to mental health services. After telling a professional several times that she didn’t believe she was depressed and that there was nothing categorically wrong with her life, she was told she was experiencing trauma due to the absence of her biological father. As the decision to cut contact with him was one she had made herself, and having a ‘father-figure’ in her stepdad, Erin persisted that this wasn’t an issue. She was never believed, the nurse insisting this was to do with ‘paternal issues.’

After going back, unhappy with the first diagnosis, Erin relayed to a GP the highs and lows she often experienced and was swiftly diagnosed with bipolar. But again, this didn’t sit well. ‘I told them I didn’t have it. I had read up all the symptoms and was sure it was something else. ‘that’s not me’ I said.’ The GP then suggested she was simply a hypochondriac, as she undoubtedly had bipolar, and was unable to accept to diagnosis. ‘I was never believed. It made me wonder; if I was a man, would they have believed me the first time I said no?’ 

Erin was then diagnosed with anxiety, which again just didn’t add up to what she was experiencing. After this, the system gave up on her. She was told, plainly, that it was ‘just hormones’ that were making her overthink and focus on issues that simply weren’t there. They further suggested it could be down to her being unhappy at home, which was completely false, but they persisted. ‘They basically told me it was ‘in my head,’ and put me on the contraceptive pill to deal with my ‘hormonal issues”.

Erin first realised she may have ADHD when a friend suggested it. ‘I dismissed it at first. I saw ADHD as a little boy bouncing around a classroom. That’s not me.’ ADHD in women presents itself very differently to men, as they learn to mask it from a young age due to social pressures. Many girls who display early symptoms are simply labelled disruptive and overlooked. 

After doing some research, Erin decided to once again reach out to the healthcare system and asked for an assessment. ‘The waiting list is five years,’ they told her.

So, after months of saving, she booked an appointment with a private clinic. ‘My whole life I’ve felt like I’ve had to fight my corner, argue with the GP to be believed. I was so overwhelmed before that assessment, so anxious that I would be disregarded once again.’ Having memorised her argument, Erin went into the doctor’s office. Upon sitting down, the doctor told her he had seen her pre-assessment and was certain she would walk out with an ADHD diagnosis. 

Erin started to cry, relief flooding over her. She was finally being taken seriously, finally being believed by a healthcare professional. In the DSM 5 assessment, she scored 9/9 in early signs of ADHD, and scored 8/9 for signs of ADHD in her adult life. Erin would have needed 4/5 for both, making her diagnosis a severe case of ADHD. ‘I stopped napping when I was six weeks old, a clear sign of the disorder, as most kids nap until they’re about one or two. If this was picked up, I could have been diagnosed in the first year of my life.’

When asked how she sees her life if she had been diagnosed earlier, Erin replied ‘If I had been diagnosed as a child or in my teens, my life would have been very different. I feel like every single bad thing that happened over the years can be linked to my undiagnosed ADHD.’ Erin had an eating disorder in her early teens, now believed to be due to her feeling out of control over small day-to-day things, so found this control in limiting what she ate. 

Whilst spending a year in Costa Rica, Erin also had a series of damaging relationships. The first was a drug-dealer, who was regularly emotionally and, at times, physically, abusive. He finally ended up cheating on her. ‘I was addicted to it because it was stimulating’ she said. The second, after several abusive situations, she eventually took out a restraining order against. Now in counselling, her therapist told her that these were due to her ADHD. ‘I felt like a domino, falling into toxic relationship after toxic relationship. I loved the thrill of abuse. I know I would not have made these choices now on medication. I was chasing the dopamine.’ 

Erin dwelled a lot on the ‘what ifs’ during early diagnosis. ‘I could have potentially got my A levels and gone to university. I felt that it wasn’t fair.’ ADHD is usually recognised in males as early as six, whereas the average age of diagnosis for a woman is late thirties. ‘I’ve made so many life choices out of not feeling good enough. I’ve always felt stuck. My expectations of my abilities have always been so low, and I think this will take years to build back up. I always thought I simply wasn’t as able as everyone else.’ 

Erin’s story is just one of so many that highlights the injustice women face within the healthcare system. When asked if she believed in the gender health gap, Erin replied ‘undoubtedly. They made me believe that everything was in my head. I thought I was just crazy or emotional, overreacting, or hysterical, when in fact it was a very real problem. I was denied help time and time again.’ 

Women every day are faced with the same treatment, with female pain and suffering being rarely believed. There is an overwhelming lack of trust in the healthcare and that the professionals are trying their hardest to help, because given the statistical evidence, they simply aren’t. 

In a world where within the same year the US can put eighty-two million dollars into researching erectile dysfunction as oppose to seven million for endometriosis, it is unsurprising that we feel enraged. With the UK government’s Women’s Health Strategy starting this year, will we notice a change in how women are treated in the healthcare system? 

Only time will tell.