Love Is Blind… Or Is It Now Political? How Gender Ideological Polarisation Is Sabotaging Your Favourite Reality Show

Love Is Blind is a Netflix reality series where singles blind date, only hearing each other, with the goal of getting engaged sight unseen. The TV series has been extremely successful for Netflix in the past 5 years, encouraging the release of 8 seasons of the original USA version and 9 other shows set in different countries too. Participants spend around 10 days in “pods”. They eat, sleep, and date all within this closed, controlled environment and all without any kind of communication with the outside world- yes, that means no phones.

The premise is that the formed connections are stronger and more intimate than those outside of the show, as the superficialities of physical attraction are removed. This supposedly allows for more meaningful emotional connections. Participants then leave the pods still single or after becoming engaged, all completely blind. The rest of the show follows the engaged couples navigating life, family, and work in the outside world. Then, a month later, the finale ends with each couple at the wedding altar, posed with the ultimate decision of saying I do, or, in many cases, I don’t.  

At the altar, the officiant always says the same line before the couples make their final commitment:

“You chose to get engaged and spend the rest of your lives together based on a deep emotional connection. Looks, age, finances, and all of the superficial things of the world were not a factor for you two. Now is the time to decide if love is blind.”

I personally love a trashy American reality show- maybe it’s something about the absolute lunacy of it all that makes me feel slightly better about my own life. Because, let’s be real, who in their right mind would get engaged without ever seeing their future spouse? Call me superficial; I’ll need to be physically attracted to my husband. But what really is superficial? Rather conveniently, none of the contestants are ever eye-burningly ugly. To truly test out the Love Is Blind hypothesis, Netflix should produce a season where even the casting is done blindly. 

Also considering finances as a superficial factor is arguably dubious. Past seasons have seen couples clash when one person has debt or another doesn’t want to sign a prenuptial agreement. Yes, marriage may be about love, but it’s also a legal contract. If I had only known someone for around 6 weeks, you can guarantee that I’d protect my assets, even if that only included a measly tenner and a Mischief black card.  

The most recent season was set in Minneapolis, USA, and its finale aired March 7^th. In this season though, forget looks or money, the most divisive factor of all was politics. 32 singles entered the dating pods, 5 couples got engaged, 4 made it to the wedding altar, but only 1 said I do. Of the 3 couples that did not end up married on their wedding day, 2 of these relationships crumbled due to differing political opinions. For Virginia Miller and Devin Buckley, as well as Sara Carton and Ben Mezzenga, it was the brides who said I do not. 

In the fallout, Virginia said: 

“I didn’t like that we had differences in politics. I don’t think that was a deal-breaker for me. It was how the communication around that was handled. It wasn’t that we saw things differently.” 

Meanwhile Sara said: 

“I’ve always wanted a partner to be on the same wavelength… Equality, religion, the vaccine- I brought up all these things. Because I think they’re all important conversations. Whatever you believe, at least have the conversation.”

The men had deemed politics irrelevant in the face of love. The women proved that love, in fact, does not conquer all. Albeit it was the unwilling communication from the men which was the determining factor in the women saying no, rather than the political beliefs themselves. Yet, this unwillingness can be seen as a form of privileged ignorance. Watching these couples’ attempts at meaningful conversations, it became obvious that discussions around abortion, Black Lives Matter, the LQBTQ+ community- and even just political leanings- were met with a chilly and unproductive response. Ultimately, if you can’t talk about reproductive rights with your soon-to-be husband, let alone walk away feeling reassured that he supports said rights, maybe you dodged a bullet. All’s fair in love and war- except for my uterus. 

The decisions made at the altar uncannily mirror current real-world events. Who says that reality TV is fake? There have been increasing reports on a gender divide in younger generations worldwide, spurred by polarising politics and social media echo chambers. Women are seemingly steering more left, while men are more right. This discourse then avalanches into concerns over fragmented socialization and, eventually, decreasing birth rates. Breaking news: women don’t want to be with men who infringe on their rights or think of them as inferior!

The questions raised in this season of Love Is Blind USA are particularly pertinent given the current national and international volatility thanks to petulant President Trump. Trumpism is disputedly regressing the USA, with his “war on woke” currently at the forefront of social agendas. Somehow, even a man with his colourful criminal convictions can become President of the USA. This has only emboldened nationalists, bigots, and the far-right. Given this context and that George Floyd was murdered in the contestants’ hometown, it speaks volumes that when Ben Mezzenga was asked by Sara Carton his thoughts on Black Lives Matter, he replied, “I’m not one way or another. I just kind of keep out of it.” 

Where certain politics do not affect them, it can be very easy for people to sit on the fence. Love Is Blind season 8 fully exemplifies this and the privilege of disinterest that some men are fortuned with. Meanwhile, the women could not overlook this political difference, despite falling in love. At the altar, these couples appeared just as segregated as they were in the dating pods. 

With gender ideological polarisation only on the rise, it’s arguably not possible to disregard all other “superficial” factors in the name of love. Having conflicting views on human rights should immediately strip away the rose-tinted glasses. This then begs the all-important question, can a series like Love Is Blind continue to function in this political climate? Heartbreakingly, I can’t help but wonder if my favourite deranged TV show may be no more. 

Words by Alex Halkyard