Unlearning Diet Culture: Healthy Relationships with Food in an All-Girls Household

It is no secret to those who know me, that my absolute favourite genre of film and TV show is 2000s chick flicks. They are the most fun and light-hearted comfort re-watch, with cute outfits, snappy comebacks and (almost) always a happy ending. When it comes to a girly movie night, Tarantino can do one. 

However, every piece of media in this genre has one thing in common. They always, without fail, reinforce diet culture. Think Regina’s perpetual diet in Mean Girls, Andy being shamed for eating carbs in The Devil Wears Prada, Hannah’s weight loss storyline in Pretty Little Liars, Bridget Jones’s record of her weight in Bridget Jones’s Diary. Even Sex and the City, for all of its empowering, 20-years-ahead-of-its-time observations, falls back into the conversation of losing weight over and over again. 

One might argue that these scenes are intentionally over-the-top and shouldn’t be taken too seriously. However, considering the influence of the media we consume on our real-life culture, the impacts shouldn’t be minimised. Not only is an unhealthy relationship with food expected in women and girls, but, to a degree, it is celebrated. Even further than that, it serves as something that women bond over. Granted, some of the dialogue about diet is satirical, and is making fun of this collective over-obsession, but that still doesn’t negate its place in reinforcing these expectations for women. 

Essentially, women have been socialised, by the media marketed specifically to them, to believe that uniting over wanting to change our bodies is inherent to our female relationships. 

Instead of diving into how irritating I find this, for I fear we could be all day, I want to take the trope in a more positive direction. Every girl and woman I know has struggled with their body image for at least some of their life, usually most of it (bear with me). It’s ingrained into our culture that we should always be striving to change something about our appearance and, more often than not, the conversation comes back to food.

As a second-year student, when I moved into a house of seven girls, the thought of how other people’s relationship with food and their bodies would affect my own certainly crossed my mind, because when you live with people, these things tend to surface. It’s no secret that house-sharing is an intense feat, and the longer you spend together, the more aware of each other’s habits you are. So, imagine my delight when I discovered that living with only girls would be the best my relationship with food and my body had ever been.

As a side note, I think the phrase “relationship with food/my body” has been heavily stigmatised, and when I talk about my own, it is not to imply that it has ever been awful, but, like many other girls, it has always been a conscious part of my day-to-day life. 

When we first started living together, the seven of us would regularly cook almost comically different meals on a nightly basis. However, as time has gone on, we have inspired each other’s meals, cooking the same thing more often, and eventually cooking all together when we can. Sharing meal ideas has become an act of love for us, wanting our friends to indulge in what we enjoy, so they can garner the same enjoyment. We also subconsciously time our dinners to ensure we are all cooking/eating around the same time, so we can chat and catch up on our days. Food has brought us together daily, and not in the way the movies wanted it to. Even working out, which our culture has a tendency to pervert into self-flagellation with Gymshark leggings on, has become some of our most quality time together, the endorphins muddling themselves with hysterical laughing fits.

Then there is, of course, the sweet treat. The foods that have been demonised our whole lives are the ones that bring us together the most. A giggly night time trip to Sainsbury’s, a cheeky movie snack while we squash on the sofa together – keto hasn’t stepped within 10 feet of our house. These are the foods labelled as “evil” by the protagonists of our favourite films, again often satirically, but never without basis for how they’re generally spoken of. But food that is fun and sweet and you enjoy it together, when everything’s in moderation, why not? 

To coin my previous phrase again, I don’t think anyone’s relationship with food or their body can ever be perfect – diet culture is too embedded in everything we do. However, that shouldn’t stop us from using our lifestyles to disregard all the nonsense we have been taught and instead turn something that has been polarising into a space for community. Food is at the heart of so many cultures, so let’s try and carry on the tradition of it bringing people together, rather than using it to tear ourselves apart.

Words by Anna Lawrence-Wasserberg