The Psychology of Family Bonding: How Games Can Build or Break Relationships This Holiday Season

Have you ever seen one of those videos where a kid slams their cards on the table, groaning because they just got hit with another +4 in UNO? It’s funny because we’ve all been there. For many of us, the holiday season was prime time for those moments: times of laughter, playful competition, and sometimes a little frustration. Now that January’s here, it’s a good chance to look back at those moments. Playing games with family can strengthen bonds, not just over the holidays but throughout the year.

Why Games Bring Us Together (and Sometimes Drive Us Apart)

Games are not only about fun but also about creating shared experiences. When people are all around the table, distractions like phones or work tend to disappear, and all that matters is the all-consuming game. It’s a collective experience: collaborating, chatting, and inevitably arguing a little about the rules. For those of us at university who don’t get much family time, games can be an easy way to reconnect.

From dusting off a childhood favourite, like Monopoly, or trying out a new game someone got for Christmas, it’s all about sharing the experience. Maybe it’s laughing at an unexpected move or teasing someone for taking way too long on their turn. These moments are about more than the game; they’re about being present with each other. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, this taps into our basic need for connection and belonging, a feeling we all crave. Maslow’s theory outlines a pyramid of human motivational needs, starting from basic physical needs such as food and safety, moving up to psychological needs such as love and self-esteem, and finally culminating into self-actualisation, where one fulfils their full potential.

Games also give us a sense of achievement. Whether it’s finally mastering a strategy or claiming victory for the night, these small wins boost our confidence and make us feel good about ourselves. It’s a reminder that sometimes, the little things matter.

Games and Emotional Bonds

One of my favourite family games during the holidays is “Guess the Film Soundtrack”. We play a video quiz on YouTube and try to be the first to shout the song or title of a film. My dad is always ahead when it comes to classics. Eventually though, I did end up learning about these films from his heyday, so am starting to give him a bit of competition. These moments aren’t just fun but also more meaningful, sharing memories and getting to know each other better.

That’s the magic of games: teaching your younger sibling how to play something new or laughing when someone’s strategy completely backfires, these moments create a kind of closeness that’s hard to replicate. They encourage us to listen, cooperate, and just enjoy each other’s company- something that’s easy to forget when life gets busy.

Games also reveal a lot about us. If you’ve ever looked up Bartle’s player types, players can be classified as Achievers, Explorers, Socialisers, or Killers. Spotting these tendencies could be an exciting way to realise how different family members approach gaming, or even different aspects of life altogether. For instance, your “Socialiser” cousin might love games that involve teamwork, while your “Achiever” sibling thrives on crushing everyone else’s scores.

Unique Holiday Dynamics

The holidays tend to shake things up one way or another. Everyone comes home with different routines, energy levels, and expectations. For those of us at university, it can feel a bit weird stepping back into family dynamics from childhood. But, games can act as a bridge. They create a space where everyone, no matter their age or experience, can join in and have fun. This inclusivity matters. A game may be boring if it’s too easy, yet frustrating if it’s too hard. The sweet spot keeps everyone invested without leaving anyone in the dust. It’s about creating an environment for fun, rather than being the most competitive person in the room.

Beyond the Table

With the decorations coming off as we enter the new year, life takes its normal course. However, there’s also a lot to take away from those game nights too. They are a reminder to be present, appreciate the moment, and find joy in the little things. Games should not merely be played during the holidays, but on occasions when we strive to bond and create unforgettable memories. They can serve a similar purpose at university among friends, as a refresher aside from usual social activities. Organising a games night in your student accommodation offers a fun, low-pressure way to hang out, perfect for those who might not be into clubbing or drinking culture. You just need a deck of cards or a simple board game! Games are inclusive, anyone can join in and they encourage people to collaborate and laugh – a reminder that the best memories come from the simplest settings.

Therein lies the beauty of games: they are predictable in ways life seldom is. There are clear rules, opportune rewards, and uniform penalties. You can learn patience after a loss or celebrate victory with your family. These lessons don’t stop at the end of the game. They carry over into real life, reminding us to keep trying, to laugh off our mistakes, and enjoy life every step of the way.

Remember, next time you choose a game to play with family, no matter how simplistic it may be, it is never about the game itself. It’s about showing up and being present to share those moments that make life a bit brighter; it is all about laughter, connection, and memory-making.

Words By Jacqueline Wong