I want to take The Substance that makes me Margaret Qualley

On paper, a 2.5-hour body horror featuring Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley was destined for my Letterboxd top 5. I expected body horror, but my god- this one would send anyone who found Saltburn too extreme to an early grave.

It was an innocent 8pm volunteer shift at the Hyde Park Picture House. “Enjoy the film!” I said to my fellow brave soldiers who unknowingly embarked on the journey that is The Substance. The film focuses on Demi Moore, who plays Elisabeth Sparkle, and Margaret Qualley—who, in some ways, also plays Elisabeth Sparkle. I won’t spoil the plot too much, as I think it’s best to go in fully blind, but all I can say is if you’re squeamish—sit this one out hun x.

The shrieks and squeals from the audience made the whole experience even more enjoyable, and the long runtime feels like five minutes due to the film’s fast pace and increasingly shocking visuals. The first two hours reel you in whilst simultaneously keeping you quite disturbed and unsettled -like dating a Hyde Park man. It’s the last 30 minutes that stop it from being a five-star masterpiece in my eyes, but I do feel this is a particularly subjective opinion—so see it for yourselves and decide what you think. Demi Moore gives the performance of her career, and Qualley continues to establish herself as a movie star. Her character, Sue, is perfectly written and constructed to represent the horrors and desperation of fame today and is perfectly accompanied by Demi Moore’s Elisabeth in a narrative that literally switches in and out of these characters in a nearly-three-hour anarchic horror ride.

The film is playing at the Hyde Park Picture House until next week, and then will be streaming on MUBI—but this is one that should be seen on a big screen, surrounded by equally traumatized viewers.

I personally want to take The Substance that makes me Margaret Qualley, and you should too. I’ll make sure to switch back in time, I promise!