Let’s Get Messy: Olivia Dean Takes on Leeds
My experience seeing Olivia Dean live for the first time as a first-time concert photographer.
Written by Ruby Dean, edited by Millie Cain.
Olivia Dean returned to Leeds last Friday night at our very own Stylus, in the University of Leeds Union building, her first time since the launch show of her debut album, ‘Messy’, at Brudenell in July of 2023. The neo-soul singer-songwriter took on Leeds as the second date of her sold-out tour across the UK and Europe, to an excitable crowd of girls like me,matched in jeans and ribbons to complement the relaxed jazz-pop music of Olivia’s chilled out style. The singer first came to Leeds to perform at The Wardrobe, and so her return has been much awaited by fans, especially since her last few shows have been at the celebrated Coachella in California.
Image Credit: Ruby Dean
For me, this was my first chance at seeing her live, one which was much anticipated, though was not an opportunity I expected in the way that it happened. Unlike most other attendees, I embarked as a photographer rather than only a spectator of the gig. I arrived early, with only my leather jacket and camera bag, packed with the various lenses I may need, and headed to the front of the queue to inform the staff that I was in fact on the guest list, as a photographer. Giddy, and nervous, it was my first time ever photographing a real-life gig. I’d been limited to school plays, open mic nights and subjecting my friends to portraits, but here I was, being handed my very own photo-pass at the front of the line.
‘I’m sure you know the drill, but I’ll go over it anyway’.
I nodded, and smiled, standing a little straighter in response to actually being taken seriously.
‘The first three songs of each set, and just make your way down to the pit.’
Imposter syndrome materialises even harder when you haven’t done something before, though I tried to look convincing as I made my way down the stairs, guided by the kind and helpful staff who explained where I would be, and how I was allowed to stay in the pit to photograph both Olivia and her supporting artist, Aby Coulibaly, for only 3 songs of each set. I would have felt overwhelmed if I hadn’t been so excited. Only a week ago I was desperately joining Facebook groups, scanning for last minute tickets, and here I was, with my weighty camera around my neck, passing the girls at the barrier to instead move in front of it.
Image Credit: Ruby Dean
It’s funny how we consume music so aurally in our day-to-day lives, often listening alone, in our bedrooms or on the bus, or letting our songs play behind chatter at dinners with friends or in bars. Yet at a concert, all our senses are suddenly engaged: the flashing colours of the lights, the sticky floors under trainers, moving through a crowd of bumping bodies and removing your jumper with the heat of it all. I found all of this became elevated as I captured this experience through the lens. The giggling of girls against the barrier as they anticipate the artist they’ve been queuing hours to see, or the relief of cold water from the bar as it hits the back of your throat, is as much the experience of a concert as the artist themselves. As were my hands on the cold body of my camera, trying to make myself look busy and important in between my own fangirling of the stage (and taking my BeReal as discreetly as possible).
Image Credit: Ruby Dean
Warming the room before Olivia was Aby Coulibaly, a Lucan-born singer-songwriter joining Olivia for the full-length of her UK/Europe tour. Immediately warm and ignited with a joyful energy, Aby took to the stage with confidence. Dressed only simply, in cargos and a ‘Billionaire Boys Club’ hoodie, with only herself and her DJ, Aby immediately captured the audience as she asked them how they were feeling about Olivia, grinning at their cheers of delight before she began her first song. Aby opened with the astrologically titled song ‘Taurus’, one of the most popular songs in her discography. Whilst capturing her ease onstage, I too found myself nodding along to the steady beat of the music, grinning like the audience as Aby’s smooth vocals dipped into a self-assured rap, and at her engaging facial expressions as she immersed herself in the music. With ‘Still’, Aby had the crowd chanting the titling lyric back at her and joined them in a steady two-step to her music.
Image Credit: Ruby Dean
To my delight, Aby’s team kindly permitted me to stay in the pit for her whole set, which grew more emotional as Aby revealed the struggles she faces with her skin condition, and the antibiotics she had to take had some not-so-nice side effects. She shared her response to these pharmaceuticals through her latest single ‘Big Pharma (Withdrawal)’, which was impactful and beautifully sung. Aby then took a seat at the front of the stage for a song called ‘Rewind’, which she vulnerably noted to be about the loss of her dad and wanting to go back in time. Despite the shift in energy, Aby remained just as in touch with the crowd, as there was a respectful hush throughout the song. Even I abandoned my camera for a minute, pausing to let Aby sing, taking a seat in front of the barrier, and partaking in the admiration for her performance.
Aby is set to support Coldplay in Dublin this summer and is someone I would really recommend catching live if you are able to, or at least tuning into her music. Her live presence is so genuinely warm and glowing, that she feels almost like a friend onstage, sharing her stories through music.
Image Credit: Ruby Dean
Waiting for Olivia, the crowd was buzzing. I could feel it as I adjusted my camera’s settings once more, cleaning my lens and chatting to the other photographers who entered the pit. The butterflies in my stomach re-materialised as what was at first two of us, became seven; photographers who were sent by magazines or the promoters themselves, when there I was, simply of my own volition and good luck.
‘How long have you been doing it?’ asks the kind Gary, the photographer who I’d shared the space with during Aby’s set.
‘I’ve done the odd thing here and there, though nothing as big as this! Mostly plays and musicals, and smaller local bands.’
Image Credit: Ruby Dean
I’m ashamed to admit that I didn’t have the heart to confess my novelty to the scene. Though I wasn’t lying, the last time I photographed a musical was back in secondary school, and when he lists venues such as Oporto, The Wardrobe, Hyde Park Book Club, I can only meekly respond with a ‘sort-of’ as I think of the one open-mic I went to, where I photographed my friend and her band. Though I was proud of the photos at the time (and am still!), it feels far too diminutive in comparison to his slot at the Arena, taking photos of Dua Lipa a few years back. So I smile, and I nod, and I swallow and pray that the light is forgiving enough that I’ll come away from the show with photos and experience I can take pride in.
When the lights go dark, the room is ready, and I am erupting into joy as Olivia and her band make their way to the stage. The gently ambient and otherworldly intro to ‘UFO’ plays to open the show, as Olivia stands in the middle of the stage in a beautiful yellow sleeveless mini dress, framed by her gorgeous hair and gesturing elegantly to the crowd. My anxieties melt away. It was magical. The full ensemble delighted the audience as they accompanied Olivia – her keyboardist, drummer, saxophonists and horn players, guitar, and bass. Olivia moved naturally with the music- she danced if she were outside, as if the sky was bright blue around us and we were in the open air instead of in the dark and limited Stylus.
Image Credit: Ruby Dean
As she transitioned to an old favourite, ‘Ok Love You Bye’, I felt myself enthralled all over again. The line between professional and fan grew blurred as I could not resist from singing along to the song which first introduced me to Olivia as an artist, back in 2019. The pink and purple hues of the lights, the volume of the music right before my eyes, as if I could touch it – there was no other feeling. Olivia is truly a performer, dancing on stage, spinning and falling into the beat of the drums, the trills of the saxophones. I couldn’t stop smiling. I couldn’t have asked for a better view, nor a more thrilling opportunity to put my photography skills to the test.
She greets the crowd before her third song, the titling track of her debut ep ‘Echo’, after which I am ushered out of the pit with my camera but permitted to enjoy the rest of the concert. Here I put my kit away, in awe of the music I have just been able to enjoy in a way I have never experienced. Music which will now live on in my memory through the photos I have taken of it. She continues to play a selection of favourites, both old and new. From the self-empowering ‘Be My Own Boyfriend’ to the reflective and mournful ‘What Am I Gonna Do on Sundays?’ and ‘Everybody’s Crazy’, each song comes naturally to everybody, embracing each lyric and each rhythm with steady swaying or jumping around. There are couples, students, groups of girls and parents, so many people from different places, here for the same reason. I love that about music, and I love how you get to see it at concerts, everybody brought together by their individual connections to the same thing.
Image Credit: Ruby Dean
Unfortunately, my 5-foot-3-self found some difficulty in fully accessing sight of the stage throughout the rest of the show, and so I believe the beautiful rendition of ‘Everybody’s Crazy’ occurred with Olivia alone, at the piano, but though I didn’t quite see her, the crowd appreciated her honest commentary on the difficulty playing in such high boots!
Image Credit: Ruby Dean
For me, it was the closing of the show which touched a special place in my heart, in its final four tracks. Returning to the beginning of her journey, Olivia played her debut single ‘Reason to Stay’, reminding me and the audience of how far she’s come since 2019, as a Brit School graduate singing backup for Rudimental. This followed onto ‘The Hardest Part’, which, as Olivia herself noted, was the song which she found connected her to a whole new multitude of people, the one which people truly resonated with and brought her closer to her listeners as an artist. This one was the most special to me, taking me back to the reluctant losses of people I’d had to leave behind, alongside embracing the unavoidable nature of growing up.
‘Pray that things won’t change/ but the hardest part is, you’re realising/maybe I, maybe I/ain’t the same,’ Olivia sings to the crowd, and we sing with her.
‘Carmen’ is the penultimate track, about Olivia’s grandmother who moved from Guyana at only 18 to start a new life for herself, as part of the Windrush generation. It brings a beautiful energy to the room, and you can see it in Olivia’s eyes as she sings that this one is important, and a story that needs to be shared for its significance, for her grandmother’s strength and bravery. The space is alive, a celebration of family and music and courage, all dancing with unfettered smiles. And when Olivia announces the final track of the night, the romantic and uplifting single ‘Dive’, I too think of my family, of my mum in our kitchen back home, this song radiating from her ‘Great Girls’ playlist through our speakers, or in the car after a day trip into a new city.
I couldn’t have had a better first experience of concert photography, being able to capture an artist I not only admire so much, but whose songs have soundtracked so many sections of my life. I purchased a poster to celebrate the occasion, which now hangs above my bed as a souvenir of the moment. A souvenir of witnessing the music, the art, and the people, live in an experience that will live on in my photos, and in my mind, forever.
